okay, here's the deal with my boyfriend.
he's not overweight by any means, he's 6'4 and around 200, so he's not obese or anything. he actually used to have more muscle, but i've noticed that a little bit of it has turned "soft". he does carry a noticeable amount of bodyfat around his midsection which he ******* about alot. he always complains that he wants to lose his gut and gain muscle like i am, but he does nothing about it! he drinks beer late at night, sometimes liquor as well last night he went through almost a whole pint of ice cream! he has a fast metabolism i believe, but he eats the wrong things at the wrong time, and i want to help him but he doesn't want to seem to help himself! he does watch what he eats when I am around...but what can i do to help him???

you can only lead a horse to water.

My training partner is the same way right now. We'll be training and my arms are exploding and getting full and his arent. I say did you have the preworkout meal I told you to have..no...work was hectic. Not an excuse, you can drink two scoops of protein doing almost any task and add the oats to it if you cant nuke them in the microwave. Better yet I told him about Mass Maker, either way there is an excuse.

I simply remind him and hope it will sink in. Lack of resuls while I continue to get stronger, bigger and leaner is what will either motivate him or not. In other words, lead by example and continue to remind him, but make sure you dont nag him...

Good Luck

*sigh*
i try not to nag, but i don't want him to end up with a ****** self image if he lets himself go. i know that sounds horrible...but i know for a fact that i'm MUCH happier when i'm in shape. everytime he eats junk food, which is often, he gives me the excuse, "you only live once, enjoy it"...which is true. but still. it sounds like drama, but he's just stubborn!
any ideas on how to get him to work out with me in the afternoon after he gets off of work, even with his usual excuse "i'm too tired"?

Everyone wants to be in shape. Not everyone will put the effort in.

No reason to let him drag you down. Just keep doing your thing.

quote:

Originally posted by amshorty:
*sigh*
i try not to nag, but i don't want him to end up with a ****** self image if he lets himself go. i know that sounds horrible...but i know for a fact that i'm MUCH happier when i'm in shape. everytime he eats junk food, which is often, he gives me the excuse, "you only live once, enjoy it"...which is true. but still. it sounds like drama, but he's just stubborn!
any ideas on how to get him to work out with me in the afternoon after he gets off of work, even with his usual excuse "i'm too tired"?

]

LOL! As far as "coaxing him" to work out... he is a man. Think about the things that get a man's... "attention" so to speak! Although it may sound dirty and may just work for a while, in all honesty it may just prove to provide a bigger rift between the two of you.

You gotta do what is good for you to keep you happy. He may not ever get motivated to do anything about his physique and if you love him for him, then I guess it doesn't matter. When he complains, just ignore him. A lot of people like to complain about certain body parts, but never do anything about it because they don't understand that there is no "1 diet" or 1 magic potion that is gonna help them, ONLY A CHANGE IN LIFESTYLE.

You understand this completely, he doesn't and may never. Just one more way that you differ from your partner I guess, but I guess that is why they say opposites attract? Maybe it will rub off on him someday, but don't hold your breath. In the meantime, don't change who you are and what you do! Cheers.

Dr. Phil, out........

thanks so much for all of your input! he actually mentioned buying more free weights for our gym and putting in some effort, which was kinda ironic since i posted this yesterday
anyways...he's still convinced he can eat 3 times a day and eat whatever he wants if he does start working out...i'll at least have to work on the 3 square meals thing.
thanks again!

I have a slightly different issue with my boyfriend that I can use advice on.

I am a figure competitor and at first my boyfriend really supported me with my dieting and excercise. Now, I am getting ready for my second competition and he is wanting me to make this my last contest (which, of course, I'm not!). He is always complaining about my dieting and says it interferes with us (going out to dinner, etc). As far as my traning, I try to get him to work out with me, but that only lasts a few days and then he gets annoyed and says I give the gym priority over him. We've been together for three years and the ironic thing is that WE MET at the gym. He just isn't as serious as I am about health and fitness anymore.
What to do?!

KellyKel,

I am gonna go ahead and dispense with the sugar coats, flowers, and rainbows.... You're boyfriend needs to get over it! Seriously, it is very rare to find a women like you that is dedicated to health and fitness and makes that a priority in thier life. You are a very special woman, and he needs to get over his hang ups because it sounds like it has nothing to do with you, but more of his own insecurities. HE SHOULD BE COUNTING HIS BLESSINGS to be with someone like you!! Most men would KILL to be with a woman like you. Don't forget that. Cheers.

quote:

What to do?!

I'd tell him, "ADIOS AMIGO!"

So true.

Hard to face, but the answer is evident - to detach from people in my life who do not support me.

Thanks!

I'd tell him, "ADIOS AMIGO!" -Aram

That's how they say it in Santa Fe. Honestly Kelly, if it is that strong of an issue, "...your last", I think it'should be true. Your last with him.

You have to look at the overall package. There's obviously a lot of growing apart and now, nearly demanding you to not do it.

Competition isn't the world. Dieting and training is and from my experience, it is a very healthy way to go about life.

Wish you the best and cheering for you in December!!

You're right Frank!

I'm a very strong-willed person and I go for my goals. So this definitely will not change my healthy lifestyle.
Thanks for all your input! And yes I'm gearin up for this December show! Root for me!

(And yes thats how they say it in Santa Fe)

Amshorty/Kellykel - Sounds like your bodyfriends have a bit of an attitude problem. Very self defeating, probelm orientated mindset. Any fool can condem and complain and critisize. If you allow this to be your focus, then you will hear alot of it. The biggest challenge anyone faces in their life is dealing with the people around them. Surround yourself with the right people and don't allow anyone to stop you from achieving your dreams. Find the ability in yourself and others, it's priceless. This is a very common issue for many bodybuilders/figure competitors.

Trust you both will go above and beyond the beliefs of your 'boyfriends'. Predict your success by creating it.

Thanks!

Anthony.

ps: Kelly, your sight looks awesome. Great music, layout et cetera. Congrats.

Thanks Anthony =)

Well, he has gotten better about not complaining as much with how much I diet and train, but he still cries about how he never loses body fat (as he chows down pizza and soda while I'm on the treadmill sprinting haha). So my philosophy is this:

WHAT YOU EAT IN PRIVATE, SHOWS IN PUBLIC- bottom line..

Thanks again for checking out my site..

Kel